As I write, the birds outside sit in the budding spring branches singing good morning. 'Winter is over,' they chirp as they gather materials to make themselves nests and get on with their seasonal egg laying duties. Back inside, I listen to their happy songs and imagine them rejoicing over a dirty strand of soft yarn that they discovered. What a soft bed it will make for the hatchlings when they flop screaming out of their cracked shells.
What a lovely picture I paint in my mind, then I remember the weeks of tireless work those same birds will endure as they continuously gather bugs to feed their insistent young. Bleh, work! No such thoughts for me on my day off, I want to enjoy my day. And yet, I am haunted by the ever present mental list of things that need to be done.
Top on my list for three months now, is the sparkly elephant in the room. From where I sit I can't see the branches, but I know that the Christmas tree still patiently waits for me to retire it to the upstairs closet.
In January, the colorful ornaments greeted me with fond Christmas memories when I came through the front door. By February, the tree had magically blended into the decor and I barely noticed its presence as I ran through the day. In March, I devised a plan to pester my daughter who was coming home for Spring Break by telling her that I had presents for her under the Christmas tree. This amused me greatly and gave me a reprieve from the dreaded disassembling.
But Spring Break is over, April has arrived and there sits the tree, the glitz of its Christmas splendor tainted by the gathering dust and even a few cobwebs. My husband has been patient with me since he is quite familiar with the procrastination bug, but mind you, my delay is not an annual occurrence, the tree is generally packed away by mid-January.
So why the procrastination this year? I dwell on this as I remember the lecture I gave to my daughter the night before, about procrastinating on homework. She stood facing me while I sat on the couch and droned on with the same liturgical words she's heard before. What was her view beyond me as I corrected her at 11:00 o'clock at night? That's right, the Christmas tree was probably thumbing it's limbs at her and sticking out it's furry tongue, taunting her to believe that I have no I right to lecture.
I should be mortified, instead I'm amused. God has such awesome ways of teaching us that go beyond lectures and text. My daughter learned that her mother knows how to procrastinate well. Me, what have I learned?
When we procrastinate, we put off to another time, for whatever reason what we could very well do right now. That made me start thinking about my Pastor's message last Sunday. He taught about living in the present, not allowing the past memories or further worries to keep you from living right now. Listening to God and going with the flow of the Spirit where ever this present adventure may lead us.
The scripture in Matthew 6 came to mind, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." But I was putting things off till tomorrow, not worrying about them, at least I thought.
When we procrastinate, we walk through our day with a list of stuff burdening our minds. If we simply did our 'to-do list' then we would be free from this burden. Instead, we do just as that scripture said, we worry about tomorrow, by choosing not to listen to God in the now. How many of us putter-offers, if we dared to listen right now, would hear Him say, "Just get it done, then you can enjoy the rest of your day."
Instead we prefer to make one excuse or another and do what needs to be done so that we can have fun doing what we would prefer. Hmmm, that convicts my heart. Jesus can't be Lord of my now if I hold back that list of things I would rather not do until tomorrow.